In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you inspire me to be a worse person
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
