what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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