How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize