everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
