I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
