you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
