You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
