you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
