two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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