Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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