That's when you crack a 10am beer
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
