Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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