She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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