BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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