I think scott just propositioned me for sex
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
