I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
