i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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