i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My dick has a subreddit
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
