nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
