They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
