I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
