To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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