i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
