am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
