Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
