i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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