I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got inside last night via doggy door
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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