can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
