I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
