I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
