My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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