Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I met the friendliest cop last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
