So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wow bdsm is so cute
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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