Pappa wants mamma naked
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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