I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
How's work?
Spinning.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
