She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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