it wasn't lemon gatorade
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
