im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
