Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
