Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
