hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
