wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
