pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
