Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
