That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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