This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Terrible idea I love it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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