if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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