When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
