now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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