Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
