i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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