halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Boobs are out for the taking
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
