i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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