She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize