Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
