so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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