dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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