Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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