Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
