I'm so fucking centered right now
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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