Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
